This is the second excerpt from an interview with noted Catholic theologian Monsignor Cormac Burke conducted by The Melbourne Record. Commitment And Calculation
His (Monsignor Burke's) experience in the field of marriage had inevitably led him to think more deeply about modern society's cultural problem in making commitments. "There's a lack of commitment, a fear of commitment, a fear that there is nothing worth committing yourself to."
There is also a problem with people unwisely trying to obtain happiness through too much calculation. "Our tendency today is to calculate too much. There's no such thing as calculated happiness. It's one of the big mistakes of modern living," said Mons Burke.
The contemporary phenomenon of the "trial marriage" B where couples move in together as a preliminary step on the road towards a possible marriage commitment B is an example of flawed thinking, the Monsignor believes.
"The sexual union implies 'I belong to you, you belong to me.' That's a state. It means 'I belong, and I cannot take myself back.' That's when I'm married. "Before that, I'm using you, I'm not giving myself totally, or accepting you totally. That's why a 'trial marriage' makes no sense." Trial marriages are not "inevitably" doomed, he says, but are unlikely to succeed. He feels in a trial marriage, "people diminish each other in each other's eyes."
Part of the problem is that in many areas of modern life, people want a virtual 'money-back-if-not-satisfied' guarantee. But there is a danger that couples will fall into "self-centredness" unless, before marriage, they have made a proper judgment of the value of the person they are marrying. Couples also need to have "sticking power," he said. This is because every marriage marriage ever made must involve an encounter with the weakness of human nature. "Loving a defective person, being a defective person, hopefully being loved by a defective person" is an essential part of marriage, he said... (to be continued)
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